BeforeI die


“It’s our choices… that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”

Today is World Suicide Prevention Day. Today is the day we bring awareness to exactly what suicide is and how we can stop it.

Sometimes, I get discouraged. I see all of you hurting and everything in me wants to fix it. I want to fix why you are hurting. I want to go to you and hug you. I want you to tell me your problems. I want to love you so hard. I want to be there for each and every one of you… and I try so hard. I really do.

“To learn as many languages as I can!”

I still was not satisfied with my answer. I do want to do that before I die, but something seemed so shallow and vague. It didn’t fit right. It didn’t fit me. And, I felt discouraged again reading all these GREAT ideas.

THEN, It hit me.

The purpose of life isn’t limited one thing written on a board. No. We are to do multiple things that are all chained together. We all have a mission. We all have a purpose. If you are breathing, you have meaning.

Life isn’t about death. Life isn’t about what you will do before you die. No. Life is about what you choose to show who you really are. The choices of our life reflect who we truly are, right? Well, what is it that I truly am?

On World Suicide Prevention Day, what separates me from the dead? I am alive. I have breath. I can still do what I set out to do. I can exist. I am happy to exist.

There is something funny about life.

I was so close to death. Mentally, I was dead. I had given up. Nothing in my life had meaning. But, I didn’t die. I am still here almost 10 years later. Life is still hard. Getting up every morning is sometimes difficult.

But knowing that there are still things I WANT TO DO before I die makes it all worth it.

There is so much I want to do and learn before I die.

My true response to that wall is this:

“I want someone to know the real me.”

That’s all life is about, ya know? We long to be connected to someone who truly knows us. And at times, we get rejected. We get hurt. We put ourselves out there and we get burned. That sucks. It really does. It has happened to everyone, basically. But you cannot give up.



You have the choice.

This is who you are.

“It’s our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” (Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets)

Live out your life.
Show others kindness.

… for joy
… for sadness
… for whatever you want.
Laugh all the time.

What do you want to do before you die?

Live life to the fullest.