Self Harm Awareness Day

heycolleen

When I thought about what to write for this blog post, I became completely overwhelmed and annoyed. One of the biggest destructors for my own soul is comparison. I compare myself a lot, even when I know that comparison is the thief of joy. I was watching the other organizations similar to ours post these elaborate posts, and I wanted to give up. Sometime, I feel as if I am talking to an empty internet. I feel all alone in this world. I feel like there isn’t much to live for and that I’m wasting my time. That’s when it hit me.

This day and this month is Self Harm Awareness. Last year, I was so excited. I was so prepared. I posted a video. I had a movement going. This year, I lost steam. I feel overwhelmingly discouraged by all of this. Quite honestly, I thought about quitting all together. For the past 6 months, I’ve been overwhelmingly stressed with work and post-college life. I’ve felt embarrassed telling people who have these awesome jobs with these awesome apartments in the city with awesome parties and awesome clothes that I struggle each week and have added to the statistic of 20-something with a degree and a job that isn’t in my field. Yes, I have a Bachelor’s Degree (graduated Cum Laude… double major/double minor) and I am a barista. My life has lost meaning.

Late at night, when I can’t sleep, I am reminded of my self harm and wonder if this is the way to cope with the pain. I guess I’ve felt like such a failure and can’t handle life at this moment. I thought about self harm. No one would know. No one would see.

But- there is always a but- it hit me. Over two million people use self harm in the United States alone. Although it is reported among teenagers and young adults more often, self harm does not discriminate against race, gender, socioeconomic background, and sexuality. Self harm impacts EVERYONE.

How does one thing impact everyone? We are people. And people hurt. Hurt people hurt people. People hurt in so many ways. When one person suffers, we all suffer. We are the human race. This war needs to end. This needs to stop.

So, instead of cutting each other in line at Starbucks or yelling at the car that didn’t use a blinker, how can we show some love today? That’s where you come in.

I need you so much right now….

I can’t go on feeling like I am alone. I can’t go on feeling like there is something in it for me… although, I love chatting with you guys on twitter and facebook. I need your help as much as you need mine.

During the next month or even the next year: take a selfie.

Just a few rules.
1. You have to take the photo of yourself.
2. Write on a piece of paper WHO or WHAT you live for.
3. Your piece of paper must be in your selfie
4. Only appropriate pictures, please.

Why and who are you living for even if it is one day at a time?

Send me your photos to info@holdingofwrist and we will post them here!

Together, we can beat this…. Somehow, we will make it together.

Have a great and safe day.

Show your support now.

We need your support!

Together, we can beat this.

World Suicide Prevention Day: “Live”

BeforeI die

 

“It’s our choices… that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”

Today is World Suicide Prevention Day. Today is the day we bring awareness to exactly what suicide is and how we can stop it.

Sometimes, I get discouraged. I see all of you hurting and everything in me wants to fix it. I want to fix why you are hurting. I want to go to you and hug you. I want you to tell me your problems. I want to love you so hard. I want to be there for each and every one of you… and I try so hard. I really do.

“To learn as many languages as I can!”

I still was not satisfied with my answer. I do want to do that before I die, but something seemed so shallow and vague. It didn’t fit right. It didn’t fit me. And, I felt discouraged again reading all these GREAT ideas.

THEN, It hit me.

The purpose of life isn’t limited one thing written on a board. No. We are to do multiple things that are all chained together. We all have a mission. We all have a purpose. If you are breathing, you have meaning.

Life isn’t about death. Life isn’t about what you will do before you die. No. Life is about what you choose to show who you really are. The choices of our life reflect who we truly are, right? Well, what is it that I truly am?

On World Suicide Prevention Day, what separates me from the dead? I am alive. I have breath. I can still do what I set out to do. I can exist. I am happy to exist.

There is something funny about life.

I was so close to death. Mentally, I was dead. I had given up. Nothing in my life had meaning. But, I didn’t die. I am still here almost 10 years later. Life is still hard. Getting up every morning is sometimes difficult.

But knowing that there are still things I WANT TO DO before I die makes it all worth it.

There is so much I want to do and learn before I die.

My true response to that wall is this:

“I want someone to know the real me.”

That’s all life is about, ya know? We long to be connected to someone who truly knows us. And at times, we get rejected. We get hurt. We put ourselves out there and we get burned. That sucks. It really does. It has happened to everyone, basically. But you cannot give up.

YOU HAVE TO PUSH TROUGH.

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You have the choice.

This is who you are.

“It’s our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” (Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets)

Live out your life.
Show others kindness.
Cry.

… for joy
… for sadness
… for whatever you want.
Laugh.
OFTEN.
Laugh all the time.

What do you want to do before you die?

Live.
Live life to the fullest.